Chief Inspector of Poo
When I was pregnant, I had no idea that part of my duties as a mother would include Poo inspection. Yes Poo, the stuff that comes out during bowel movement.
I read in books, the colour and texture of poo to expect in the first five days but I did not know the importance of poo inspection and the role it would play in my daily routine as a mother.
Realisation dawn on me on day two when I changed Baby Jood’s nappy and noticed a blackish mass of poo – the much expected first poo – meconium. Later in the day during Baby Jood’s medical examination, the doctor asked if Baby Jood had any bowel movement and I replied yes. He requested that I described the poo. I described it and noticed a good nod from the doctor with emphasis that I continue to observe it.
The poo questions along with its frequency continued to feature in most of JOOD’s medical examinations with the GP, Midwife and Health Visitor – and I (the inspector) had to respond.
As the “Chief Inspector of Poo”, I have to observe the frequency of the poo – the size, thickness, the texture and carry out daily analysis and comparison with his regular one. In less than two days as the Inspector of Poo, I promoted myself to “Chief inspector of Poo” – an expert in Poo analysis and comparison – being able to give accurate description of the Poo to the Midwife, knowing when I need to give him more water to avoid him getting constipated etc.
As the Chief Inspector of Poo, I hope the poos I encounter will continue to meet the recommended conditions and I greet all other Inspectors and Chief Inspectors of Poo.